Race Day

THE MISSION

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. The 10K is in two days. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: 1:11:00 (roughly). Best time since I last wrote: 30:24 (5K); 1:00:34 (10K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); 1:00:34 (10K, May 26, 2010). Miles within the last week: 6.2. Total miles for 2010: 104.4. Total miles since 2008: 401.4

RUNNING MP3 OF THE WEEK (That song that for whatever reason has a cadence that exactly matches the speed I was running this week.)

"Tryouts" From the original motion picture soundtrack for "Rudy". Best musical theme for a sports movie ever.

The last time I ran in an organized race, I was in the eighth grade.

My whole running career (At that point all of two seasons spent running the 1,600 and the 3,200 because in the head of a middle-schooler, aside from the first and last lap of the race, no one can really tell what place you're in, or how far behind the guy in last place really is. After 10 years of covering high school sports, I realize now that one can definitely tell. Definitely.) came to a close in the conference championships in, of all things, a relay race.

With middle school track being what it was, any number of things (i.e., Little League baseball, spring music concerts, softball practice and family emergencies like the two-for-one deal at Round Table Pizza or the season finale of Seinfeld) took precedence over any meet, regardless of what kind of championship it was.

As a result, both the crowd of spectators and field of participants tended to rapidly evaporate as the meet went on. What I mean is, generally after the 100 meter dash everyone was gone.

Now this caused problems for coaches, as all track meets end with the running of the 4x400 meter relay. That means you need four live bodies able to make one lap around the track each in order to field a team.

On this particular day, back in May of 1994, as the 4x400 started to approach, our coach discovered a member of his relay squad had left to, I don't really know, go patch things up with his girlfriend? Try those tacos Shaq and Hakeem Olajuwon kept fighting about? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnyWar8uOTI

So our coach looked at what he had left. There was me, and there was Nicole Holt, who was one of the better female distance runners in the conference.

I have to believe, as he watched me still wheezing from my last-place finish in the 3,200 (I passed some kid on the home stretch, but I think he may have just been warming up for the long jump on the infield and accidentally drifted out into the lane), that he gave some honest thought toward tacking a girl on to the boys' team and hoping no one filed a protest.

Nonetheless, he gave me a shot.

They set me up as the third leg, with the thinking being that the first two guys could hopefully build a big enough lead that the anchor leg would have enough room to make up for any damage I caused.

As we staged for the event, we learned that only three other schools had managed to assemble squads, so worst-case scenario, we were going to get fourth.

The race went as well as could be expected.

Our opening leg built a lead of about 50 meters and the second added another 10 or so.

One school dropped the baton and was disqualified on the first exchange, narrowing the field to three.

I grabbed the baton with a 60-meter lead and thought, 'just don't fall down.'

And, in that, I succeeded.

In every other facet of the race, though, not so much.

Before I could round the first turn, both other schools passed me. It was at that point I realized someone had replaced my running shoes with lead boots.

For a period of time, everything went into slow-er motion.

Two kids sitting in the bleachers on the back stretch shouted "Hey kid, you could just give up now!"

I gave it some serious thought.

Our anchor leg made it close at the end, but we took third.

Our school, I was later told, had not lost that particular relay in two or three years.

My teammates were encouraging though saying things like:

"If you didn't run, we wouldn't have even been able to run in the race"

And,"Dude, my mom said it looked like you were dead."

So that brings us to this weekend.

I'll attempt to run the Carson Valley Days 10K and I don't expect spectacular results.

I compared my times to the results from last year and if every person from last year's event shows up in the exact same shape they were in last year, I'll finish last out of all the males of any age.

That's OK, though.

The goal is to finish and to hopefully do so in under an hour.

At this time last year, I never would have even considered running six miles in one shot, so in that sense, I'm ahead of the game.

After this, it's on to marathon training. At this point, it still seems like a joke (and really, still kind of is). But, assuming my left leg doesn't fall off, it's not an impossibility just yet.

We'll just have to see.

So for anyone who's going to be at the parade on Saturday, the 10K is supposed to finish before 9 a.m. just in front of Lampe Park.

I expect to finish anywhere between 8:45 and 8:55, so if you see me, try not to point and laugh!

Moved out, moved in and back in action

THE MISSION

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m currently running twice a week. Eventually, I will ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 15-18 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: 1:11:00 (roughly). Best time since I last wrote: 30:44 (5K); 1:01:59 (10K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); 1:01:59 (10K, April 21, 2010). Miles within the last week: 9.3. Total miles for 2010: 86.2. Total miles since 2008: 382.8

It's been a while. Again.

But, unlike the last time I went a long period of time without posting, I actually have been running. Sort of.

The problem this time around is that we moved. Bought a house to be more specific. So, between closing escrow, painting, packing boxes, moving furniture, cleaning old apartments, setting up our new home, working my normal job and spending time with my family, there hasn't been a lot of extra time for writing.

In all honesty, there was about a two-week period where I didn't run, but given all the extra labor around the house, I didn't feel too bad about it.

But this last Sunday, I got back to it.

We moved back to the neighborhood I grew up in, and having not done any sort of running here since I was in high school, I came away from my first couple of runs amazed by three distinct things:

1) A persistent headwind that actually, without exaggeration, angles against whatever direction I happen to be running.

2) The number of attack dogs left unleashed in front yards on two separate routes I've tried so far. Seriously, how long are you supposed to wait when a dog is charging before either putting your foot out and hoping it knocks out some of the teeth on impact or running away with your arms flailing over your head? Do you wait until it decides your slow and therefore not worth the chase, or until the owner calls it off?

This is the stuff I think about out there. Because this is generally how it goes:

Homeowner: "Killer, get back here ... Hey, sorry about that man."

Me (huffing and wheezing): "My fault, I was just thrown off by the rabid, frothy teeth-bearing. Next time I won't rub my legs with steaks before going on a jog."

And to think I used to freak out about hoodlums. But I digress.

3) The fact that despite the two-week layoff (and probably due to items 1 and 2 directly counteracting each other) my overall times didn't fall off too bad.

That's good news, because goal No. 1 of this whole endeavor (the 10K) is looming less than a month away.

This week, I officially entered the Carson Valley Days 10K, which is scheduled for June 12 at 7:45 a.m.

My initial goal was to run it in 45 minutes, which I can honestly say is not going to happen at this point.

But, I am confident, at least, that I can finish the race. The new goal is to do it in under an hour. If I'm really being ambitious and the next month goes somewhat smoothly, I'll raise the bar to 55 minutes. We'll see.

That's really about all there is to say this week. There'll be plenty more to say in the coming weeks, I'm sure.

Strolling on the river

THE MISSION

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m currently running twice a week. Eventually, I will  ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 15-18 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: 1:11:00 (roughly). Best time of the week: 32:03 (5K); 1:06:31 (10K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); 1:04:05 (10K, April 10, 2010). Miles within the last week: 9.3. Total miles for 2010: 64.7.  Total miles since 2008: 361.4

RUNNING MP3 OF THE WEEK (That song that for whatever reason has a cadence that exactly matches the speed I was running this week.)

"As I lift You Up" by Jeff Deyo. One of my favorite worship songs from Jeff Deyo. It's upbeat and uplifting, hence the title. 

It’s hard to rock the jogging stroller look.

You know what I’m talking about.

There are just certain things in life that weren’t naturally meant to be. Trying to look at something over your shoulder, for instance. Or hanging curtain rods. While we’re talking about it, you might as well add Keanu Reeves comedies, mullets, pineapple milkshakes, leg cramps, chocolate-covered bacon, fried Coca-Cola, the Montreal Expos and Stefan Ur-kel to the list.

Back to the strollers, though.

I have a great stroller that my parents gave me for my birthday the summer before my daughter was born. The only complaint (and this is true of most jogging strollers I’ve ever seen), is that it was designed for runners in the 5-5 to 5-8 height range (i.e. women ... who are short).

Those of us on the taller side have to kind of stoop down to grasp the handlebars. Your center of gravity pushes about a foot behind you and your legs end up kind of flailing behind.

It’s like those cartoons where the little mouse starts trying to run away from the cat, but the carpet underneath its feet just keeps sliding out in a big flowing ribbon of chaos.  

Plus, if you are somehow able to make the whole act look natural, there’s still that matter of your cargo.

For as well as you might be able to adjust to the stroller, your run takes on a completely different character with a kid along for the ride.

Runs without strollers are when you get work done. Runs with strollers are for fun, nothing else.

You have to be prepared to make stops to look at dogs, ducks, trucks and basketball hoops.

You have to be on the alert for shoes, hats and shirts tossed overboard.

And, you have to be aware of their extremities as feet tend to end up dragging on the top of the front wheel or swaying off to the sides and fingers tend to end up planted in little noses.

Nevada weather adds another layer to the whole endeavor as you can leave in sweatshirts and knit hats and come back in short sleeves and sandals.

Plus, you’re much more prone to draw conversation from fellow pedestrians and yard-workers, which can be awkward for those of us pre-disposed to wheezing while jogging.

“How old is she?”

“(Wheeze) Nine (Wheeze) months ...”

Or ...

“Hey, what are you doing running around with a pink blanket?”

“(Wheeze) Have (wheeze) a nice (wheeze) day.”

Unfortunately, my severe lack of speed also allows most inquirers time for two, if not three, questions. After the first, I point to my headphones, shake my head and shrug my shoulders.

You’re also at the mercy of your child’s attention span. In that under-one-year range, they basically ride around with a look evenly balanced between awe, bewilderment and panic spread across their face. It's that look that seems to say, “I’ve apparently learned how to fly, and I don’t know how long I have until I have to learn how to land this thing.”

After one year, they start to exercise their free will, which is generally to be anywhere else besides that stroller.

My daughter went through a stage one summer where she’d wait until we were a mile and a half away from home before going into meltdown mode.

This prompted casual onlookers to say, “Hey look! That slow, deaf asthmatic is cruel to children.”

After trying to ride out the screaming while casually waving and pointing to my headphones to anyone who asked “Hey, what’s wrong with your kid?”, I would finally give up and get her out of the stroller.

The problem, though, since she’d already gotten rid of her shoes, was there was no place to put her.
I’d carry her in one arm and drag the stroller behind me with the other the entire mile and a half back home. The girl always seemed to find it enormously entertaining. Daddy, however, did not.

All the same, that ended up being a decent workout in itself. So we kept at it. She eventually got used to the stroller and actually pleads to go out on runs with me now. I’m always glad to oblige.

So I had this brilliant idea last Thursday that since I run two 3.2-mile laps on my 10K runs, I could take the 2-year-old on the first half, switch kids and grab a drink of water halfway through and take the 9-month-old for the second half.

Along the way, it occurred to me that anyone who happened to see me both times through saw the same wheezy oaf pushing the same stroller with a drastically younger kid than they saw 40 minutes prior.

“Hey, just working out my own personal Benjamin Button here,” I’d say.

At least, that’s what I’d say if I weren’t slouched over the handle bars panting and having oxygen-deprived delusions of anyone actually paying enough attention to have noticed that we’d already been by.

All things considered, the run wasn’t that bad. I finished in an hour and 6 minutes (plus some change).

I had every intention of running another 10K on Saturday, but we were under time constraints with a busy schedule. I was only able to run 5K, which was probably for the best, because I felt awful the entire time.

I’ll try for two 10Ks this week (third time is the charm, right?). We’ll see. 

The wheel, sliced bread ... and other modern marvels

THE MISSION

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m currently running twice a week ... in that semi-regular sort of way. Eventually, I will  ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 15-18 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: 1:11:00 (roughly). Best time of the week: 33:31 (5K); 1:04:05 (10K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); 1:04:05 (10K, April 10, 2010). Miles within the last week: 9.3. Total miles for 2010: 55.4.  Total miles since 2008: 352.1

RUNNING MP3 OF THE WEEK (That song that for whatever reason has a cadence that exactly matches the speed I was running this week.)

"Stole My Heart" by Little and Ashley. I was going to go with a different song this week, but after hearing this on the Amazon Kindle commercial and then seeing it was free on Amazon.com, I chose this one instead. Free music, enjoy!

News flash: Stretching actually works.

It turns out every P.E. teacher I ever had really wasn't just trying to burn 15 minutes of class every day before sending us to our early deaths on the dodgeball courts.

No really, I know. It's common sense. You need to stretch before performing any extended physical activity, just the same as you need to not put non-microwavable bowls in the microwave and leave the flammability tags on mattresses. I also floss every day and throw out most foods after they've reached their expiration dates.

But seriously, it can be hard enough carving out the time to exercise, much less making sure I'm loose and limber before starting.

Normally, I settle for pulling each foot up toward my back for 20 seconds, which must do something, because it hurts -- So that's what I do.

But after an atrocious run last Wednesday (33-plus minutes for a 5K), I deciced to change things up.

Granted, the run was with the stroller, but I felt awful the whole time. The boy, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoyed his first time out on a run — meaning he didn't scream.

Anyway, before heading out for a 10K on Saturday, I thought I'd try out some stretches, most of which I learned in college while in the ... um, marching band. We stretched. You know, so we wouldn't get any cramps while scattering into the block "N" formation.

I gave it a good 20 minutes, in part because I was in no hurry to run six miles again.

But the crazy thing is, it worked. Kind of.

I cut nearly seven minutes off my time from the week before, despite keeping the same generally poor diet during the week and not really adding anything resembling a fitness routine.

Even not considering the drop in time, I felt better during the run, instead of feeling like I was running on a pair of rusty, overwound springs.

So in addition to the training runs, I'm going to take up this novel new stretching routine on a regular basis and pretend like it'll keep shaving seven minutes off my times every week.

Also, the Run for the River Marathon in Folsom has been set for November 13. This is my target marathon. If I really wanted to dedicate myself to this, I'd stick my chin up and register for it now. But I'm not going to. Not yet.

Plan this week is for a 10K on Wednesday (we'll see) and a 10K on Saturday.

Slowly getting there ... and I mean slowly

THE MISSION

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m currently running twice a week ... in that semi-regular sort of way. Eventually, I will  ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 15-18 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: 1:11:00 (roughly). Best time of the week: 31:12 (5K); 1:11:00 (10K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); 1:11:00 (10K, April 3, 2010). Miles within the last week: 9.3. Total miles for 2010: 46.2.  Total miles since 2008: 342.9

RUNNING MP3 OF THE WEEK (That song that for whatever reason has a cadence that exactly matches the speed I was running this week.): "Tessie" by Dropkick Murphys, in honor of Major League Baseball's opening day this week.

As you can see by my stats for the week, I ran 10 kilometers. In one try. In one day, no less.

I set it in my mind after writing my last post that I was going to run all of 10 kilometers on Saturday. If I couldn't do it, I was going to drop the whole thing right there. Luckily, no such steps were necessary. 

The biggest surprise to me was that it didn't really go that badly. I had visions of crawling back home with the help of a friendly duck from the fishing hole down the street, but it didn't come to that

I was slower than molasses, which was to be expected, but I didn't bring a stopwatch with me, so I wasn't reminded of the fact every 10 seconds or so. I checked the clock when I left and when I came back, and an hour and 11 minutes elapsed in between. 

Also, I had a minor victory in that the next day a friend of mine mentioned having seen me "jogging" — the victory being that they could tell I was attempting to run, and they didn't pull over to the side of the road, set up hazard flares and call 911.

I really had no idea what to expect, so I took the first 5K (my normal 3.1-mile loop) very easy and very slow, like a warm-up jog. I was tired and ready to go home after the first three miles, but kept at it (not really wanting to give up the blog just yet).

Somewhere in the middle of mile 4, tiny little elves with hydraulic wrenches climbed up my legs and started driving twin lug nuts into my outer thighs. 

By the start of mile 5, another elf,  with disproportionately big arms, started repeatedly whacking me in the shins with a 2x4. The physical beating my legs were taking left that fake limp I wrote about in the previous post no longer so fake. Or even really a limp. 

I'd call it more of a hobble. Think: Cross between Gollum and Quasimodo only without the makeup, computer animation and  raw fish.

About the middle a the fifth mile was when my entire lower half went numb. It was a welcome feeling because I'd just caught sight of a fifth elf carrying a buzz saw and a grammar school slate gaining ground quickly and I had no intention of finding out what he was planning to use those for.

Being unable to feel my legs, I quickly discovered that the rest of me actually felt pretty good. So I started running faster and harder (to the casual observer at this point, it probably appeared that I was no longer walking while in the midst of an asthma attack.).

I finished the fifth and sixth miles in relatively good order, running as well as I have this year, which was an encouraging sign for me.

There was soreness later that afternoon, and the next day, but by Monday I felt good to go again. So after two months of basically sitting on the couch thinking about running, I'm right back to it. 

The plan this week is 5K on Wednesday and another 10K on Saturday. Next week I think I'll try for two 10Ks. We'll see what the elves say about that.

Game Reset

I'd love to say that the reason I haven't posted anything in nearly three full months is that my computer went haywire, I lost the password to my blog account and gave up on writing -- all the while diligently keeping up with my marathon training plan.

At least part of that is true ...

I wrote what I felt to be an particularly amusing entry a week after my last post (when I laugh that much while writing something, it's usually to make up for all the people who won't laugh while reading it), only to have it disappear into oblivion. 

Now, in my work life I've become quite accustomed to having to respond to such situations by recreating the entire piece, usually within a five-minute span before deadline. 

But since this wasn't anything directly related to work, I relished the chance to walk away and not think about it. Ever again.

And by ever, I mean three months.

So here I am back to it, new password in hand, because I have indeed kept running -- but not nearly as much as I'd intended when I started this blog.

At this point on the calendar, I was supposed to be running 12 miles a week, with at least one 10K run a week. 

In reality, I've run 12 miles for the month of March. 

Cue the crickets.

It's not for lack of wanting to go out and run, but a number of factors arose that I simply didn't count on when mapping out the training.

One, in previous years, I could just load the girl up in the jogging stroller and take off whenever I wanted. Having two kids has proven to be much more tricky as either my wife has to be home to watch one while I take the other out, or I have to wait until after the kids are in bed to get my miles in.

The first problem with waiting for bedtime is that, prior to Daylight Savings Time (a.k.a. the official start of the season for runners everywhere),  I have to resort to being that guy -- you know, the creepy, wheezing jogger who roams dark alleys and roadways after dark that everyone gives a wide berth as he passes by.

With this fully in mind, I try to be as unassuming and non-threatening as possible during these night-time jaunts. For starters, it helps immensely that I am so slow. I think it's hard to feel threatened by a guy who couldn't chase you down if both of your legs were broken.

For a time, I also (this it the stuff that goes through my mind as I run, I swear) tried to enhance that slowness, by taking on a bit of a limp. At the end of the day (no pun intended), I decided the limp made the whole much more creepy, so I dropped it altogether.

It's of great concern to me not to take anyone by surprise, especially anyone taking their trash cans out to the sidewalk or walking out to their cars as I run past. So whenever I see such individuals, I start kind of shuffling my feet against the concrete to give an extra warning of oncoming traffic. Between the shuffling, the wheezing and the limping, it's become quite the spectacle, which is why it's probably good it's dark outside.

I also wear an old yellow Oakland A's ballcap during my night runs, because A) no one finds the color yellow, or the Oakland A's for that matter, threatening in the least bit, and B) (Because for as much as I'm trying not to be creepy, I'm way more creeped out by everyone else who happens to be out and about after dark), no one is going to beat up a guy with glasses and a yellow hat on. Right?

The second problem is that sometime in the last three months, a troll has taken up residence in our couch. His name is Carl.

He doesn't bother us too much, but he has this nasty habit of latching on to my feet as soon as the kids are in bed. Carl is a pretty heavy troll (must be the dreadlocks) and he only lets go for ice cream trips or the ordering of a pizza. He is seriously against any physical activity, especially running ... and jumping jacks, but that's neither here nor there, because I hate jumping jacks.

Since Carl has taken up residence, I've dropped off on my running and subsequently gained about 10 pounds. 

All is not lost, however. With Daylight Savings Time, I've been able to get out more for runs and the time I've put in so far this year has me running a slight bit faster than I was last year at this time. 

So I'll just keep plugging away at it. I see the 10K as ultimately doable in June, one way or another.

The marathon, well, we'll see. I'll keep at it, I'll keep writing the blog, and if the marathon waits until next year, it waits until next year. But the plan for now is November. 

 

JUST TO RECAP

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m running twice a week ... in that semi-regular sort of way. Eventually, I will  ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 22 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training.

Stats for the week : Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: --. Best time of the week (or since I last wrote): 30:37 (5K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); -:-- (10K). Miles within the last week: 6.2. Total miles for 2010: 37.0.  Total miles since 2008: 333.7

Sure there are reasons, but they aren’t as fun as the possibilities

Why do I want to run a marathon?

I read something on a Web site that you need to have a specific reason for running a marathon, because it will greatly increase your chances of actually doing it. 

Fact is, I don’t really know why.

The idea first popped into my mind when I was in college and still in reasonable shape. At the time, it seemed like one of those grand life adventures college kids plan out -- traveling to Europe, road trip to the College World Series, swimming with dolphins. eating the burrito special at Big Mike’s Mexican Cantina …

But, like most college adventures, the marathon never materialized.

There’s nothing missing from my life that running 26 miles would suddenly replace and while I hope to improve my overall fitness, I feel like I made the hard change several years ago when I started running.

At the end of the day, I think I really just want to see if I can do it. 

But in the interest of having a concrete reason, I’ve decided to run to raise awareness of clumsiness.

Clumsiness is a reality.

It affects 100 percent of the population, usually at the worst time, and it is, to date, incurable.  

I have it. My wife has it. My daughter has it and we’ve noticed early signs of it  in our six-month-old son (just yesterday he was sitting normally in the living room and did a face plant right onto his stuffed monkey). 

I read that the symptoms (Dropping things, biting your tongue, stabbing yourself with pens, dribbling food on your shirt, walking into pane-glass doors, falling down stairs, falling down on flat ground, falling out of chairs, falling out of bed, tripping over your own feet, throwing aimed objects errantly, knocking full water glasses over, shooting food across the table after trying to hard to cut it, stubbing your toes, bashing elbows and shins on sharp corners, bumping your head on static objects, writing on yourself, talking to people who have left the room, spilling whole cartons of eggs, calling longtime acquaintances repeatedly by the wrong name, mistaking strangers for longtime acquaintances, waving at random oncoming traffic from your car, voting for the wrong person during election season even with the new user-friendly touch screens and back-up vote verification, writing blogs and accidentally calling your teachers “Grandma”) are ultimately treatable.

"We're all clumsy to some extent,” assistant professor of clinical neurology at the University of Pennsylvania Robert Slater, M.D. told www.mothernature.com. “It just varies from person to person.

“For the average person, a normal amount of clumsiness might be one or two awkward incidents a day. You might tip over a glass or bump into a doorway on any given day."

Ah, good. I am only six to seven awkward incidents below (or above?) average.

Slater goes on to suggest several methods of symptom relief.

First, don’t dwell on it (This will never happen for me).

Second, take a nap (Generally, after falling down in front of someone, I’d much rather just crawl under a rock). 

Third, take time to relax (Hard to relax under rocks -- too lumpy).

Fourth, exercise. (Now we’re getting somewhere). But they recommend tennis or ping pong  to improve hand-eye coordination. After two years on the high school tennis team, I can safely say the sport only enhanced my clumsiness.

Fifth, imagine your worst nightmare (Yeah, I do that. All the time. My worst nightmare would be getting chased across the slippery decks of a cruise ship by a puppet-wielding clown. I’d slide off the side of the boat, into the choppy waves below and get swallowed whole by a humpback whale. Inside the whale, the only form of entertainment is Grover Monster the Muppet who sings “It‘s a Small World” six hours a day.  I‘d be spit up days later only to discover the world supply of pizza had been entirely consumed.).

This process is supposed to help you in that imagining the worst-case scenario helps take the bite off the fear of clumsiness. But who’s going to help me with the clown, the puppet and the cruise ship?

Finally (and I’m not kidding). They recommend you bring out the animal in yourself. Imagining animals in motion, apparently, helps people be less clumsy. You imagine yourself as an animal, how every muscle in your body works together as you feel the wind your face as you run. You’re supposed to imagine these things for five to 10 minutes after an episode of clumsiness.

Got it. I see a hedgehog bumbling over the forest floor with a wolf in hot pursuit. The Wolf closes, the hedgehog rolls into a spiny ball and  … Oh.

This isn’t working. 

I guess I’ll have to give it some more time. 

Klutzes of the world, unite! I run this marathon for you. And the hedgehog.

JUST TO RECAP

I am training for a 10K in June and a marathon in November. I’m currently only running once a week while the freezing temperatures in town stick around, while subsidizing with exercises in the house. I’ll gradually ramp up the training routine until I’m running about 22 miles a week in June. From there I’ll launch into marathon training. I recommend you read the past entries to get a better idea of what I’m trying to do.

Stats for Week 2: Baseline 5K: 32:13. Baseline 10K: --. Best time of the week: 30:58 (5K). Best overall time: 26:57 (5K, June 7, 2009); -:-- (10K). Miles within the last week: 3.1. Total miles for 2010: 3.1.